It’s on a day like today when reading a Psalm such as Psalm 30 rips my heart in two directions. On one hand I completely identify with the words David penned as He poured out His gratitude to the Lord for His kindness, healing, and deliverance. But on the other hand, life is hard sometimes. And in the midst of the pain, I don’t always see how God will somehow turn my wailing into dancing (Psalm 30:11).
Even as I write these words, I feel the duplicity of my own emotions. “I will exalt You, Lord, for You lifted me out of the depths… Lord my God, I called to You for help, and You healed me” (Psalm 30:1a, 2). These are words that describe my life in many ways! I relate to them on such a personal level, as there have been so many times in my life where God has “lifted me out of the depths”. He has healed me from an abundance of hurts in my lifetime. Like David, I too have experienced the moments when God totally came through for me in what seemed like a hopeless situation—when my heart sang His praises and refused to be silent because of my great joy and utter gratitude (Psalm 30:12).
I remember many of these moments well, and I know that they should be more than enough evidence for me, proving the goodness and faithfulness of God. In fact, there has never been a time yet when He has failed to provide for my needs or to look out for my best interests. And yet on the hard days, on the days like today, I read the words of David in Psalm 30 and I struggle to bring myself to that place of reckless praise. I know that He is capable of turning my wailing into dancing, and removing my garments of mourning to replace them with clothes of joy (Psalm 30:11). I know He can do it, because He has done it in my life so many times before. So why is it so hard to trust that in this moment?
My guess is that it was sometimes hard for David to trust too. In the moments of sorrow, fear, and pain, I imagine He struggled to keep His eyes focused on God’s amazing faithfulness. But perhaps that’s why he wrote psalms like Psalm 30. Perhaps there were moments when he had to petition his own heart to fall in line—moments when he didn’t feel like praising God, and he didn’t feel like expressing gratitude for God’s faithfulness, but he chose to because his heart needed the reminder. Maybe he composed this Psalm on a day like mine today—a day when it was hard to trust God, because nothing seemed to be going right. And on that day, maybe his response was to take a pen to the paper and remind himself of all the good things God had done in his life, rather than dwelling on the pain of the moment.
I too am thankful. And while I may not feel like it in this moment, I will choose to exalt the Lord. For He lifted me out of the depths. I called to Him for help, and He healed me. Though my weeping may last for the night, His joy will refresh me in the morning. I will choose to believe that today.
Will you?
-Talasi Guerra
(Director of Children and Family Ministries)